Annual blog post

I am so incredibly busy these days that I am just going to schedule my next post around next summer sometime. Trying to post, like ever, is just not working out. For you or for me. Pathetic, I know.

And because the only time I have to myself is from midnight to about 2 AM, I have to sleep sometime. Tonight I'll blog instead of sleep. I will say that it's really not time to myself, because Husband is heavily, heavily breathing next to me. The only reason that I allow him to heavily, heavily breathe next to me is, unless I'm creating life through pregnancy, I'm freezing most of the time. And therefore, the heater with complimentary noise machine is much appreciated, at least some time.

Other times, he gets the elbow to the ribs, the shaken husband syndrome, or the "Roll over" yell.

So what has been happening?
For lack of effort on my part, I'm just going to outline it for you:

1. Routine check up for Blue incidentally found ear infection.

2. How am I suppose to know that the baby that is routinely fussy and rarely takes a good bottle is suppose to have an ear infection?

What's that you say? Oh, ear tugging. Not this little one. Not only does he tug and pull on his ears when sleepy, he also scratches his forehead, runs his fingers through his hair, and hums loudly. So it may just be that I will know he has an ear infection when he can verbally communicate it as plainly as "I have an ear infection."

3. I haven't gotten on the treadmill all week, and I feel like a bad person. Well that, and the sweet love who has a mommy that can't tell he has an ear infection. That also makes me feel like a bad person.

4. Little is getting more and more witty every day. She is truly hilarious.

The spaghettoes are really terrible this year. You should use bug spray, because it will kill the bugs (points to ground, as in their final resting place), and they will fly away (flaps her arms) like bees. Bees make honey, and I like honey (licks her lips).

We just went from mosquito talk to honey in seven seconds.

4. We are in the process of a lot of changes, but I will have to disclose all of that a little later. The 2 AM shift will be here soon.

I can explain

Yesterday, we all slept to the point that we were rushing around trying to get ready for church. At some point, I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of Little's hair, which resulted in a very sleek looking hairdo.

The good news is that I'm the Sunday School teacher, so the lesson cannot technically begin until I get there, which is a good thing considering it was ten after when we pulled into the parking lot.

Our wonderful pastor had someone who worked with the children to ask them why their mommies are so special.

"(Little) says her mommy is special because...."

I let her cook with me.

I read to her every night.

I kiss her bo-bos.

I tickle her back, like a million times a day.

No. None of these.

I am alive

I have totally, without any shred of dignity, neglected the blog. I so did not want to be that person, but I am.

So let me think what's been going on.... Ballet, tee ball, housework, church, tee ball, housework, rinse, and repeat.

I honestly do not know how I ever had time to work. Our life is far busier than it ever was when I worked.

And I have some really lazy rascals around here. I start out every morning with big plans.

(Today, we are going to the cleaners and to run by the grocery store.)

(Today, we are going to go by the bank.)

(Today, we are going to get some lunch and to get gas.)

The most amazing thing happens. There is no explanation, but I cannot get out of the door. I start making an effort to get showered, dressed, and the barn painted (that would be make-up) around 8. The next thing I know it's lunch, and Little is not even entertaining the idea of going anywhere. Then, its time to get supper started, and I tell myself that we'll get it all done tomorrow.

And tomorrow is the same exact thing. It's like that movie "Groundhog Day," where Bill Murray keeps reliving the same day over and over.

I am uploading a mass amount of pictures from my high-resolution phone camera album. I honestly do not know where they will post. The beginning of the post? The end? Or some random place? Wherever they are, I hope you enjoy. Little and Blue are growing so fast!

Just what I needed

Someone that is important to me sent me this e-mail. It's not one of those chain letters.

(I really hate those things.)

(Send this to ten people and the one that sent it to you in ten seconds and in ten days you will receive ten thousand dollars in multiples of ten.)

(And I know that sounds ridiculous, but there are people that actually send that mess.)

(No. They are not giving a penny per forwarded e-mail to some needy child to pay for a transplant. No. Your luck isn't going to change. No. They are not giving a way free IPads to those that send the e-mail to everyone in their address books.)

(In fact, if I see "FW:" in the subject line, that's an automatic DELETE for me.)

Let's just refocus.

Breathe.

Calm down.

Ok, I'm back. I managed to get a little sidetracked. I started to stand on my soap box, but I've about worn that thing out.

So the e-mail is just one of those things that shows up at the right time from the right person.

I value the person's opinion a lot, and the fact that there has been silence on the topic of career moves in the past few weeks had me a little concerned that I may have disappointed the person.

As Little Foot would say, "I'm so appointed."

She said that tonight when she couldn't find her beloved (spare, mind you,) lovey lamb that has been with her since birth.

Apparently, the one just wouldn't do. But then she saw her curly dog from BAB, and she somehow found the will to carry on.

(I have no idea where all the dramatic tendencies come from.)

(It must be one of those recessive genes.)

Just so happened that Sunday's sermon was based on fruits of the spirit.

Ironic? I think not.

He makes all things new

All the tragedies. All the hurt. All the loss.

To be honest, I can't even look at national news websites anymore. Vile acts against children. Heinous crimes against women. Inhumane offenses against humans.

However, it gives me more to pray about. For those involved. For the world we live in. For my children and what their world will be like.

In the last 24 hours or so, our community has lost friends, classmates, children.

My heart breaks for the families that will have to bury their babies. For the Senior class that will graduate next month with an empty chair. For every parent that takes for granted that previous blessing that can be gone in an instant.

For we know our time here is just a blink, and as my favorite verse of "Amazing Grace" boasts that ten thousands years in heaven, with Jesus, is no less time from our first day.

Revive our community, O Lord. Revive us.

Who decided on these hours?

Well, Friday was my first day of being a stay at home mom.

I just want to know who said I was available for work at 6 AM?

Blue gladly awoke, followed by not-so-gladly Little. A little bit of TV perked her right up. Blue slept on and off all day, and I mean more on than off. I had such big plans for Friday, but Blue protested that he would just like to sleep.

So, I obeyed my employers and straightened and cleaned all day. My house is so thankful.

And for the first time ever, I got to go to Little's tee ball practice. Little did not disappoint.

The food poisoning that Husband and I acquired also did not disappoint. I was awakened by Husband at 4 AM Saturday. I knew he was sicker than I had ever seen him. He then announced how he was feeing better and going turkey hunting.

I think I said something along the lines of, "No you're not. You're sick."

And he responded something akin to, "Are you telling me I can't go hunting?"

I realized that he really thought he felt well enough to go hunting. So I told him he could do what he wanted, as I stared at him with my "I'm looking at the most (insert term here) person I've ever seen" look.

And I believe that it was sometime after dressing but just prior to him cranking the truck, that he came running back in.

I didn't really feel it was appropriate for me to yell through the door "I told you so," until after the emesis had finished.

And then, I became sick, and it really wasn't fun anymore.

We couldn't even tend to ourselves, much more the precious Blue and Little. So we had to call in reinforcements.

I came out of a phenergan- induced coma sometime around 6 PM.

Somehow, I managed to make it to church today, but I am still a little weak.

That's going to have to be it for now. I'm being summoned by Little. She's having a bit of a Peppa Pig crisis.

Last day

Well, here we are.  The last day of work.  The last day of commuting 75 miles one way.  The last day of being the nutzo mom that forgot to send something to the sitter.  The last day of measuring in minutes during the week how much time I get to see my kids.  The last day of putting my work before my family.

There.  I said it.  I feel better.

Because, unfortunately, it is the truth.

I'm really good at what I do, and believe me, I'm not good at much.  And I'm not bragging or boasting.  I'm just simply telling you that I do my work well.  One of the forefront reasons that I have been good at my career is because I care.

I've been employed in this profession for nearly nine years, not including the two years of school that was about 80% clinical.  I'm telling you that I have seen a lot in these eleven years.  I've held a lot of hands, wiped a lot of tears, and done some things that most would not do.  And I know that because I was told that.

In the span of this career, I've seen both ends of the spectrum.  I've seen the best and the worst in humanity.

I assure you there is little I haven't seen.

I've given myself unselfishly for the institution, the career, and the cause.

And starting tomorrow, I do that for my family.

I had to leave Little sick, crying, or upset for someone else to hold her hand, wipe her tears, make her feel better.  And what would I do?  Go to work to hold someone's hand, wipe someone's tears, make someone else feel better.

Sure.  Little's needs were met, as have Blue's been.  But they weren't met by me.

Husband has had to be both parents since I returned from maternity leave.  He cooks, bathes, disciplines, gets them from here to there, runs to the grocery store, etc.  All so I could work.  Work where I wanted to work.

Last week, I asked Little what she wanted to be when she grew up.

Her response,



"A mommy like you."




Last day of a working mom.  Of an absent mom.