I snapped a really cute picture last night that I thought would be perfect to blog about, but God had a different plan.
I left my camera in Meredith's room, and since I was running behind this morning, I did not have time to retrieve it. Don't worry. I'll blog about it soon.
Apparently I am walking around with a target on my back, because God sent me two very direct messages this morning: first, the information, and second, to share it in my blog. (Apparently, I am not alone.)
K-Love (cue the music....."Positive, encouraging, more music, K-Love") played clips of an interview with the Christian group Tenth Avenue North.
Tenth Avenue North based their entire first album around James 5:16.
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
In the interview there was a reminder of something so familiar: He loves us not because of who we are, but in spite of who we are.
So, I began to think about things that need to be confessed. Things I would say to you in this moment. Things you may or may not know.
Are you ready? Warning: You are about to witness the train wreck that I truly am.
1. I am a perfectionist.
2. Because of number 1, I am extremely critical of others.
3. Even more, I am extremely critical of myself.
4. As a mother, I make mistakes.
5. I try to be a people-pleaser, even at the expense of others.
(There are others, but the list would get to 100, and the post would be even longer than it already is.)
Now in the car, as I thought of these things. God was peering into my heart, pointing in a particular direction. Whether intentional or unintentional, I was ignoring His request.
And then, there was mention of a comic, Anita Renfroe, who has written several books. I believe the terms Lisa used were "racy, Christian books." She mentioned Adam and Eve being in the garden, naked and unashamed, and how we struggle to get back to that. She continued by saying love is spiritual, emotional, and physical.
Awww, snap. Busted!
If I have slipped in my walk, than how can I expect my relationship to be right with Husband. If I am not being emotionally supported, is it that I am not emotionally supportive? And even though it's taboo, the physical is just as important as the rest.
6. I am not the best wife.
7. Worse, I do not try to be.
Mollye, we are not perfect. For you to confess this publicly only means you are growing in the Lord. I've read this post about 4 times and I can totally agree with you! OH NO HUNEY not that you are these things on this list but I AM!!! 1. Perfectionist- Yeah that person who tries to make everything right and ends up failing at a lot of stuff--yeah that's me.. 2. Critical of others--Ummm yeah i'm busy pointing the finger and it's four pointing back at me. Most of the time I just end up feel like a retard. Which leads straight into 3. I end up feeling like a retard so I beat myself up. Smiling on the outside...cutting myself DEEP on the inside... 4. Motherhood is all about mistakes. Sometimes I wonder if I yell too much, don't read enough, don't practice our letters enough, don't take enough time, do I have her in the right school environment...Yeah see what I mean? 5. People pleaser....yep that's me...I want EVERYONE happy...but usually I end up unhappy...but HEY i'm working on that... 6. "WIFE"--what is the foreign term you use lady?? OHHHHHH that "to have and to hold" from this day forward...".... RIIIIIGHT!!!! We are who we are, our husbands didn't marry us because we were predestined to be Beauty queens or billionaires or Mother Goose (lol) they love us for us! We are their rock and they are ours! Don't try to be the best wife...BE YOU! LOVE YOU!!! And DANG-NABBIT you made me cry! GEESH!
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